Tag Archives: working mom guilt

Memory Lane is Going Digital

21 Jul

We are taking a walk down memory lane as we prepare our household for a move to a new dwelling in a month.  Well, Dan is running, I am crawling.  It is so hard to part ways with the multiple spiral notebooks with all my to do lists in them.  Reviewing them for the first time since they went in a drawer when the last page was used, is fun.  Now what will I do?  I use Evernote.  I update the to do list electronically wiping clean all record of what has been accomplished.  The next time I move I can expect to go more quickly, right?

I also cleaned out my stationery bureau. Yes, I have an entire bureau dedicated to stationery, note cards, address books, holiday cards we’ve received (only the ones with photos), invitations we’ve sent, and random stickers.  I think I have an entire bureau full because since I was a child I have been obsessed with paper.   I collected note cards and stationery for a long time, but of course now I use mostly social media and emails to correspond, so I have lots of paper just looking for an excuse.  I will not throw it away.  I will milk the opportunities to send appreciation. Thank you notes are always handwritten.

Today I received an e-mail from FineStationery.com.  It made me pause, will there be stationery stores for my girls when they are 10?  Will they save their allowance to buy paper and stickers?  The answer is sadly – probably not.

Next on the agenda is all the children’s artwork – how much is enough?  I did read an article where people take photos of the artwork and create a Shutterfly book.  That may be more my speed.

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The days are long but the years are short (anonymous)

9 Mar

My children  Maddie and Sammy turn one on Saturday. When I step back to reflect on the year, I have a number of emotions:

amazed – that we all made it through the year unscathed (let’s not count the five ear infections they both had, croup, the flu and numerous colds)

startled – I can’t believe the year is over, wasn’t it dragging on forever just last month?

happy – I love my long-awaited for and much dreamed of  family

sad – that I wished any of the time to go by faster; there were times that I wanted to wave a wand and just get to age four

surprised – that I seem to have less mommy guilt, than I did three and half years ago when my daughter turned one.

awakened – to milk  joy from every single minute we all have together

inspired – to take more photos and videos and to chronicle milestones more aggressively

grateful – to the village that helped our family during this last year (lots neighbors who made us dinner, grandmother who lived with us for the first two months, grandparents who became permanent fixtures until they left for Florida for the winter, a benefactor who gave me all her twin gear, co-workers who dealt with my sleep deprivation, friends who showered us with love and gifts, Midnight Moms who got me through the first three months, our nanny who is now a member of our family and of course most importantly to the random people who came up to me (as I pushed a ginormous stroller with two small babies) and ask if they are twins.)

Milking Time

24 Feb

I have been struggling for a while about finding the time to work out. I have always worked out in the morning, but after having my twins morning is the time for precious sleep.  I get up at 6am so I can get the early train to work in order to get home for dinner time with the family.  So working out in the morning means very early.  I know people do it.  I have been talking to many people to work up the motivation and conviction to do it.

So this past Tuesday I got up at 5am and did 45 minutes of Power Yoga in my kitchen/playroom/livingroom.  I listened to a podcast of a yoga instructor in Chicago, but he was trained in Cambridge by Baron Baptiste so it is the same style of yoga I love.  It felt great after.

Today I did it again.  Today was harder.  It is hard to stay focused. I miss the heat of the yoga studio.  But there isn’t time to drive to a studio. So I’m sure I’ll get used to this.

But the other way I am milking time is walking stairs.  At work I get off at the 8th floor and walk up to 18th where my office is located.  My friend at work @soniachung turned me onto this.  It is energizing.  My goal is to do that three times a day – so far I have only made it twice a day.  I should start scheduling meetings with Sonia and hold them in the stairwell.  That is the easiest way to do the stairs – talking to someone the whole way up.  The alternative way I have been doing this is listening to music very loud on my iPod.  Lady Gaga, Ricky Martin and Ozzy are good for that.

So I am not working out like I used to, but I am milking the time I can to squeeze it in.  I’m ok with this for now.

Wonderful Vacation

4 Jan

I have had a 17 day “break” but why do I feel like I am starting a vacation?
We had a wonderful time with family. I already miss my children. I feel terrible that we won’t be starting the day together.
But on this first day back to the office I feel like a different person. I have jewelry on. I put on purple eyeshadow, not sure if this is ever ok, but it seemed like a special occasion as I was getting ready this morning.

We ferberized my daughter last night – again. She went through a 14 day stint of waking up exactly 45 minutes after being put to bed for the night. She wouldn’t go back to sleep until we wrestled her into submission and let her sleep on our shoulders and then in our bed. It was not good hearing her scream at the top of her lungs knowing she was standing in her crib shaking the side and at any moment about to wake up her twin brother in the crib next to hers. But she resigned and went to sleep.

My other daughter had been trying to sleep in our bed off and on as she said it was more comfortable; so I brought up a down comforter from the basement and made a special deal about it. Miraculously she didn’t have to get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, tell us a secret, read one more book or tell us about a nightmare.

After the bedtime rituals we got to watch two shows (Parenthood and Grey’s.) In full disclosure my husband didn’t watch Grey’s with me. He made our daughter’s lunch, made his coffee grounds in the Vitamix and then retired to our bedroom to watch the Celtics.

I am all for milking long vacations, if for no other reason but to find comfort in the routine and order of the everyday life.

Working Mom Guilt reduced with a blender

14 Dec

When my husband came home from Costco with Vitamix 5200, it sat in the middle of our kitchen in the box for three days. He was having buyers remorse and was nervous about the money spent on a blender. He loves a good sales presentation and got sold. I was skeptical and not supportive, but I finally said just take it out and let’s see what it can do.

We used it to make ice cream (it spins so fast it creates extreme cold or heat depending on the item in the machine), soups and smoothies. We used it a lot during the summer but use trailed off as the novelty wore off.

The Vitamix and Annabel Karmel’s 100 Baby Purees has helped relieve some of the guilt attributed to working outside the home and not seeing my children for long periods of time.

The Vitamix is an amazing machine and makes it super easy to make the purees. Maddie and Sammy eat homemade food. I make most of it and our nanny does the rest. The babies eat everything from beef to lentils, from broccoli to tofu, from berries to sweet potatoes.   While I’m at work, I know they are heating healthy food without preservatives and very little salt or sugar.

I never considered doing this for our first child. The work involved seemed overwhelming
But now that I am in this I am finding it quite fun coming up with a new concoction. I have only had to throw out one batch. Barley and berries don’t mix that well.

I am going to milk it as long as I can, mixing up purees is much easier than figuring out what finger foods won’t choke them.